It wasn't love, what i felt towards you. It was something deeper, more powerful than some stupid childish love....
It felt i had this deep connection with you; spiritually, emotionally, intellectually and physically...
It's just so hard to describe how i felt towards you, what you really mean to me...i, unfortunately don't know for sure if you felt the same or not but i just don't care. I am getting it out of my chest, maybe you would come across this post and understand how i feel.
I have been always terrible at showing any emotions, of expressing my feelings, it made me feel pathetic and weak and that's something i hate about myself....
With you, i felt you udnerstand me, you know who i truly am. We could talk for hours and hours about everything and anything from the stupidest idiotic issues till those deep, intellectual queries about the universe and rebirth and humanity and so on....
You made me laugh, alot even without trying to. You always asked for my advice, shared your daily routine with me, told me your problems, i felt that you are involving me in your life and how i loved that.
I felt that am a cornerstone in your life, like am irreplaceable, indispensable. It felt the best i have ever felt or ask for....
But now, oh how things can easily change...
I no longer know where i stand in your life. I actually feel the opposite of everything i said...i feel i am no longer important to you, my presence or absence doesn't matter anymore. Like am not your supporter anymore. You don't need me....
And oh how it hurts so much, like a knife through my chest, like a burn inside that can never be turned off....
Emptiness, disappointment, hurt, pain and agony alot of emotions that i can neither understand nor express
But i have to move on, i have to live my life, i have to accept the fact that you are no longer a part of my life...
See, i told you it wasn't just love i felt towards you, you were my HOME.....
